Are You, You?

Posted on May 25, 2020 by Nikita Mallya

People say I’ve toughened up. I wouldn’t rip bandaids, openly express my discomfort about their ill- doings directly to my friends, and wait patiently plotting the murder of a mouse underneath my stove with a broom, two years ago. Times sure have changed and I with it. But why does it have to be so confusing ?

I fondly remember my English teacher – Meera Ma’am who would say that as she grew older her perspectives and thoughts about protagonists in the stories she had read, changed. Growing old does affect your process. It’s pretty similar to the age old adage parents love chanting every time you make a fatal error like not messaging your parents on time when you are traveling.

“You will realize it when you have a kid of your own.”

My parents love reminding me that as I grow up and have kids of my own some day (*gasp*) , I’ll realize how worried a parent can feel when kids don’t pay heed to you. It has all got to do with me growing up and understanding this particular way of life, as a result.

And this will continue forever, until we stop repeating it to our kids. We just might because we are all so woke these days, falling back on what our parents taught us would be a shame. Yeah, you are right – I’ll stop with the cynicism. For now.

But as science has it, we are metamorphosing. Perhaps not into alternate life forms such as how a caterpillar metamorphoses into butterflies. But we are changing constantly. Shedding old skin and developing new ones just like the cells inside our body. If it is so – when in this short period of our lifetime – am I, the real me and you, the real you? When am I truly me? How do we define ourselves and live our lives when the only constant is change.

On starry nights, when I’m too pre- occupied with my life to stare at the sky, I keep my phone aside and take a trip down the memory lanes as my eyes begin to droop. It’s funny when I can’t even seem to recognize who I was a few years ago. A naive and starry eyed girl who would sacrifice everything for her friends at the drop of a hat. I’m grateful I grew out from that phase. Life teaches you lessons – some hurt while others don’t. But it’s all very important nonetheless.

And so it’s confusing. Who is the real Nikita? Is she the one I just described or is she the one who is writing this article right now? Or is she not in existence yet. Will she be the one you will be interacting with in the distance future? I hope now you realize why I titled this blog post the way I did.

If there is one thing I’ve learnt from COVID-19, it is the fact that nothing is certain and everything is evolving. And this reminds me of a poem I wrote not so long ago –

I’m in love with the Uncertainty.

Not knowing what my heart wants.

The questions that surround me.

The words failing to keep me in place.

I’m in love with the Complicated.

Longing for what I once possessed,

amidst the prejudices, decisions

and the ruins of yesterday.

I’m in love with the Half — Completed,

The unfinished, the good, the bad and the ugly.

The halfwits, the lunatics who think

this is all there is to everything.

I’m in love with the Numbing Pain

Every rejection scarring me.

The disrupting confusion,

racking my weary brain.

I’m in love with the Competition

Walking cheek by jowl,

demanding me to work for what

I naively assume, I want and need.

The world offers me no choice

but to be in love with who I am.

Are you?

Maybe it’s up-to us to fall in love with the evolving definition of ourselves, come what may. We will all have different versions based on what we are going through at the moment. I don’t know why but this realization amazes me and enthralls me. I want to believe that there is still hope for some of us. We need to be able to change and mix up our experiences – unlearn situations and change behaviors. And the fact that we aren’t confined to what we are now is truly a blessing in disguise. Let’s put it to good use folks.

If ever while reading this article – you felt yourself nodding your head to what I’ve written – please leave a comment and share it with your friends. It would really mean a lot to me. Thank you and I hope you are safe and well!

P.S: You can read the whole poem here.

Would I have listened?

Posted on March 13, 2020 by Nikita Mallya

It was on my flight from New York to San Diego that I met Rahul. I was all excited as this was my first time visiting the west coast. As I sat up observing the space around me after a quick yet slightly uncomfortable nap, my stomach grumbled. Rahul was kind enough to offer me some grapes he had received with his sandwich he ordered in flight. Even though the Indian in me screamed no, I went for it. We soon got talking and you can imagine my surprise when he told me he was working at Google.

Rahul was a cool guy. He was bustling with energy and youthful exuberance. I was shocked to my core when I realised he had been working at Google for over 9 years now.
He chuckled as he spoke his love for the job. But then he told me how he was looking for something new. He wanted to learn and explore further. He wanted to evolve. I smiled while I tried to understand his predicament. Here was a guy who was working at my dream company but he wasn’t all satisfied with himself as I expected him to be.

And what he said still remains etched in my mind to this day. Over the course of the past few months, I have spoken to many professionals in various sectors trying to understand what they do and what they lack. It was a tiny experiment of sorts. I wanted to figure out what it is that would make me get up every morning and go to work. I realised that most people like what they do, they wouldn’t be doing it otherwise. But they also find fault – travel, salary, work hours. Those same old issues that have stood the test of time.

The struggle never ends. When I first came to the US, I knew things weren’t going to be easy. But I didn’t know that it was going to be this hard either. We sometimes paint such rosy pictures of people when they talk about their struggles. All well and good. But we often take it upon ourselves to prove everyone else wrong. Now, there is nothing wrong with trying to change the way things work. But sometimes it is just plain hard. When conforming is the only option you have, you do whatever it takes.

And that’s okay.

But I wonder someone told me that. Integrity, honesty, hard work are the buzzwords we like to throw around but sometimes being patient is all it takes – to survive, to live and to succeed. In the age of the “instant”, impatience is a deadly consequence which we must get rid of instantly. Haah, the irony! It takes time.

As I navigate through the deep bends and climb over the huge obstacles in my journey, I pause at times to understand what lessons I have learnt. Every one struggles every day in their own way.

But if someone did tell me this, would I have listened?

No Holds Barred…

Posted on December 29, 2019 by Nikita Mallya

I haven’t written in ages. I always felt like it. Waking up in the middle of the night, my phone screen ablaze. But I couldn’t get myself to write. There was something there — in the vast expanse, I call my imagination — gagging me, crippling me to silence.

I read a ton of articles online and I see a lot of my acquaintances churn out content. Some of them — amazing work, which makes you go “WOW, I wish I could write like this”. And the others, so bland and forced, it legitly made me want to puke. And it hurts me to the core how people assume this to be good content. I’m no expert. But I’ve seen better stuff. This haunted me. This feeling of being judgmental. I wanted to run in the opposite direction, painstakingly bidding goodbye to a hobby I held close to my heart — writing.

Working as a freelance content writer for over 3 years and founding a medium publication can do that to you too. Be wary when you set out for tasks of a similar nature. You have been warned.

But not anymore. Why? Read on ahead.

I’m just 22, but I feel like I’ve faced a lot in life. I was born to very mature parents. Perhaps that’s why. My grandmother, once chuckled to my mother, that nothing makes sense in life. I had seen a tear trickle down her cheeks and my mom had embraced her tightly. My grandma didn’t survive long after this incident. I had never really understood what she meant that day. But now, as the days go by, I see her words come true in every little thing around me.

Let’s be HONEST.

We live in a senseless world. I’ve seen people who loved one another so truly, question their love, a year later. So many times, I’ve lost count. Random people helping you out as if you were family while your blood relatives don’t even bother to talk to you. The grass always being assumed to be greener on the other side. Students want to grow up and work. The working class want to go back to school to study. People who go abroad pine to be home and those at home, can’t wait to get out and be free. The dumbest kid in your class can be the most successful person in the future. The smartest guy could be barely getting by. It’s totally bizarre — what we define happiness to be. To some, money is the answer. Others say it’s love.

This happens to you. Me. And every person who in between.

And it’s only natural. Way of life, as some people describe it to me. I find it particularly funny. Living in the present is never an option. And it’s beautifully painful. Yes, we need to learn from our past. The future is what we should work on. But let’s not forget the present. And yet, we do.

Day in, day out — we try to make the best of the world we live in. Through our own eyes, we see what we want to see. And when we don’t, all hell breaks loose.

And oh boy, that’s not something we look forward to. I’ve lost my cool over little things so many times. Like today, for instance, I felt I was disrespected by someone who I had helped dearly. This story for another time for can still feel my blood boil. Lol.

You would think these experiences are all there is and it ends there but, fortunately, it doesn’t.

On Christmas Day, I had a traditional Christmas with turkey, apple pie and everything. It was lovely and I’m grateful for my neighbours for inviting me. I was in the presence of a guitarist and two opera singers. We spoke about life, love and dreams. It felt magical. I spent 3 hours at their place — listening to their stories and sharing mine. It was a scene right out of the movies.

There are days like these when you feel happy. How? Why? I don’t have the slightest idea.

The only thing that makes sense is — nothing makes sense. And with this principle, tightly wrapped around my head, I continue to write — today and forevermore.

I’m in Love

Posted on October 14, 2018 by Nikita Mallya

I’m in love with the Little Things.

The trees swaying to the winds.

The hand-written notes.

The half-eaten chocolate bars.

I’m in love with the Uncertainty.

Not knowing what my heart wants.

The questions that surround me.

The words failing to keep me in place.

I’m in love with the Complicated.

Longing for what I once possessed,

amidst the prejudices, decisions

and the ruins of yesterday.

I’m in love with the Half — Completed,

The unfinished, the good, the bad and the ugly.

The halfwits, the lunatics who think

this is all there is to everything.

I’m in love with the Numbing Pain

Every rejection scarring me.

The disrupting confusion,

racking my weary brain.

I’m in love with the Competition

Walking cheek by jowl,

demanding me to work for what

I naively assume, I want and need.

The world offers me no choice

but to be in love with who I am.

Are you?

How to Go About the GHC Application

Posted on July 19, 2018 by Nikita Mallya

Part 2 of “Everything you need to know about GHC” series

Now that you know how by chance I stumbled across the GHC scholarship, let’s move on to the application and the do’s and don’ts with regards to the application.

Chance Encounters!
Part 1 of “Everything you need to know about GHC” series

The application process for the GHC student scholarships is pretty simple and hassle free.

First of all, all you need to do is click on “apply” button on the GHC website. You will be directed to an application portal where you can create an account, fill out your application form and submit your completed application when it’s ready.

Once you create an account with your basic information (name, email address and a suitable password) you can start filling out your application form.

Here is the link to a sample student scholarship form:

Student Scholarship Application Form

So before we dive into it, let’s take a look at what the scholarship offers to the students:

Student Scholarships Include:

Individual registration for the three-day conference. (Getting a ticket is a very competitive process and to put things into perspective, tickets got sold in 20 minutes when the registration opened up this year!)
Flight to Houston to attend GHC booked through an AnitaB.org travel consultant (For most international scholars, this is a very important perk as flight tickets can be really expensive.)
Hotel accommodations arranged by AnitaB.org (Student scholars will be assigned a roommate and this is a great chance to make new friends and forge new bonds.)
Visa Processing Fee — (GHC will take care of your visa processing fee which is an added bonus for internationals scholars.)
GHC Stipend — (If used wisely, the stipend will cover transportation costs to and from the airport, baggage fees, meals, and other travel incidentals.)

Moving on to the application, make sure you meet the student eligibility criteria.

Student Eligibility:

You must be a full-time student enrolled in an accredited degree program at a college or university at the time of the celebration Those graduating prior to the celebration are not eligible unless accepted to another related degree program (such as an M.S. or PhD program).
Show satisfactory progress toward a degree such as, but not limited to, electrical engineering, human-computer interaction, math, physics, or management information systems.
Be able to demonstrate an interest in computer science.
You cannot have been an AnitaB.org-GHC Scholarship recipient in 2017.
You must be at least 18 years of age by September 24, 2018.
You cannot accept more than one scholarship to GHC. (Other companies offer scholarships to attend GHC including Facebook, Twitter, Yext etc. More on this later!)
If you receive a scholarship and do not notify AnitaB.org that you cannot attend prior to the celebration, you will not be eligible in future years as this takes a scholarship away from another student that could have attended.

Applicant Information

Here all you need to do is fill out your basic information including full name, address, institution name and email address. This will hardly take you 5mins!

Demographic Information

Anita Borg Institute is committed to bringing in a diverse audience and promoting diversity and inclusion.

Here you need to specify your age, gender and answer details about your background. (You can also decline to answer this)

You need to specify your citizenship and U.S. Residency status as shown in the sample application form here.

Education and Career Information

Details including student type ( Freshman or 1st year, Sophomore or 2nd year, Junior or 3rd year, Senior or 4th year), type of degree, graduation date, institution name, area of study (branch) and technical areas of interest needs to be filled out here.

Pro tip: Indian institutions will most probably not be listed in the form. You will have to make use of the option names “other” and manually type out your institution name.

Pro tip: For the question “Does your university use a GPA system?”, opt for the no option as it will disable the option to enter your GPA. You can upload an unofficial transcript of your grade cards to show your grades in the upcoming section in the form.

Attendance and Scholarship Information

Here, information regarding whether you are a previous scholarship winner and or an attendee needs to be entered.

For a first timer like you and me ( when I had applied for the application), just select No to all the questions and move on to the next section.

Essay Questions

This is by a large margin, the most important section in the whole of the application.

According to the application guidelines:

What are we looking for in a student scholar?

Student scholars are active in their community including being involved with campus computing/STEM clubs and working towards the advancement of women in computing.

An understanding of how attending GHC will have an impact on the scholar and any messages/key learnings they take back to share at their school.

The essay questions include:
Q1: Tell us why you want to attend GHC, what type of impact will being at a conference focused on women in computing have on you? (maximum 200 words)

The GHC website guide says:

We strongly encourage you to share any experiences with overcoming unique, personally important, and/or challenging factors in your background. While not an exhaustive list, some examples of unique challenges could include: the quality of your early educational environment, your socioeconomic background, culture, race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, having a disability, and other life or work experiences. Please discuss how such factors have influenced your goals and preparation for your career as a woman in computing.

Pro tip: Keep the essay as personal as possible and bring in stories, personal anecdotes, incidents which helped you realise your path in life. Also include hardships and obstacles you faced in your life, be it monetary problems, societal restrictions or behavioural issues like lack of confidence, imposter syndrome etc.

Q2: How will you share your experience at GHC with others? What type of impact will your experience at GHC have on others in your community? (maximum 200 words)

The GHC website guide says:

Please tell us why you would like to attend the Grace Hopper Celebration and how you plan to share your experience with others (including your school community) after attending the conference. This is your opportunity to share any information you believe will have an impact on being selected as an AnitaB.org GHC Scholar.

Pro tip : Here you can focus on giving back to society, coming up with avenues to share your knowledge with others, seeking opportunities to empower women with skills to take on their male counterparts.

CV / Resume and Unofficial Transcript

Here you need to upload your resume and unofficial college transcripts.

Pro tip: Make sure your resume is only 1 or 2 pages long, doesn’t include your pic and lists out all your important projects and positions of responsibility. Start working on your resume as soon as you can. There is no hard and fast rule that needs to be followed. Just make sure you do what interests you and make it a point to include your love for Comp Sci through your resume! 🙂

Recommendation

One recommendation is mandatory for all student applicants. Only one recommendation may be submitted. AnitaB.org highly suggests that you notify the recommender prior to their receiving the request for your recommendation.

It is mandatory that the recommendation is provided by a faculty member.

Pro tip: Get in touch with your faculty member, preferably meet with them to tell them about GHC and the scholarship. Furthermore, inform them how GHC offers faculty scholarships too.

Acknowledgement

And the final step includes agreeing to all the rules and submitting your application for the review!

Yay! That is all!

Seems simple enough, right?

I genuinely hope this post inspires you to apply next year. And there is no better time than now to start preparing!!!

Please feel free to ping me if you have any doubts or queries, I’d love to help you out.

Next post: The Final Verdict — A short piece on why we need to “Apply Apply and well…Apply” (To be updated soon)

To stay in the loop, follow me: Facebook | Twitter | Medium| LinkedIn

Chance Encounters!

Posted on July 8, 2018 by Nikita Mallya

Part 1 of “Everything you need to know about GHC” series

It all began when Sharon Rachel Manu a.k.a Iddivettu* Rachel made her way to the cooja (a small earthenware used to store water) which was situated right next to my room.

“Also, don’t forget to apply for GHCI!”

“Mmm hmm…”

She had just left my hostel room a few seconds ago after having finished our weekly talk sessions where we got together to rant about our mundane yet oh so happening lives. It was half past eight and she was still in her uniform.

And I knew she would have to come back in. She was my senior at college but she was more like family to me.

“I will let you know when the submissions open”, she said as she put her head round the door and stretched out her hand as I handed out her Id card back to her.

“I will be sure to check it out, ma’am!” I replied, winking at her.

“You better!” she said, as left for her room. Sharon was one among the 200 students who were awarded the prestigious GHCI student scholarship. Basically, I dared not to defy her.

The scholarship was an all-expense paid trip to Bangalore which let you take part in the Grace Hopper Conference which was held annually in the state. To know more about GHCI, check out the awesome GHCI Rethink Wiki

It happened to be one of those Fridays where you knew you had assignments to complete but you would rather google random stuff than finish your work. Since I had some free time on my hands, I decided to learn about GHCI and how the submission works.

And… that is when it happened!

I stumbled across the magnificent GHC conference. (Thank you Google!)

So what exactly is GHC?

The Grace Hopper Celebration is the world’s largest gathering of women technologists. It is produced by AnitaB.org and presented in partnership with ACM. GHC 18 will be held from Sep. 26–28 in Houston, Texas.

Honouring Anita Borg, a pioneer in the field of computer science, the GHC conference is conducted annually to celebrate and empower women to pursue careers in technology.

Reading into it, I found out that the receiving the scholarship meant an all-expense paid trip to attend the conference and boasted of a chance to participate in a career fair where reputed companies and firms all over the world would take part in.

Frankly, that’s all I researched about it.

I knew, for better or for worse, I just had to apply!

Here is another brilliant article which really got me all excited to apply for the scholarship: 11 Reasons Why You Should (Definitely) Attend GHC 2018

The Takeaway here!

Coming back to the quote posted above, J.F Kennedy rightly pointed out that every accomplishment starts with a decision to try!

It was my curiosity and decision to give it a try which ultimately led to where I stand today — with a GHC scholarship in my hands!

More about the scholarship and the application process in the next post!

*Iddivettu — Malayalam for lightning. Sharon Rachel Manu acquired this unique name owing to her impeccable athletic skills in addition to her academic accomplishments. She was an all-rounder indeed!